Seal is watching on the stone
#animal #weird #look #looking #funny #yawn #yawning #lie #lying #bored #shocked #watch #watching #seal #drunk #hypnotized #fat #animals #feature #activities #emotion
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.
Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.
Private investigator
A guy believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator. The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man. This was the Chinese PI's report about what he found: "Most honorable, sir. You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall out tree. I not see. No fee. Cheng Lee."
Snowman snowwoman
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
Mummy´s music
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.
Teacher and students
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.