Mouse is eating chips
#animal #funny #eat #eating #hungry #meal #food #mouse #delicious #animals #feature #food
Adele
Q: Why did Adele cross the road?
A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.
Beans
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."
Chinese girl
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.
Cheap hotels
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.
DonĀ“t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.
Birthday
Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.