Mouse is hiding into wardrobe
#cute #animal #white #funny #hide #running #mouse #yellow #fat #feature #animals #color #activities #sports
MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.
Adele
Q: Why did Adele cross the road?
A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
Santas sack
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
Harry Potter
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.
Tears in eyes
My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him.
At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison
Cath the train
A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”
The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one."
Turkey
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?
A: Envelope.