Ferret has the shower
#cute #animal #sweet #white #washing #waggle #satisfied #ferret #happy #shower #swimming #water #feature #animals #color #activities #emotion #sports #nature
Turkey
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
Months
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.
Pregnant woman
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman.
Boy: Why do you look so fat?
Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me.
Boy: Is it a good baby?
Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby.
Boy: Then why did you eat it?!
Tears in eyes
My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him.
At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison
MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.
Athletes
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!
Adele
Q: Why did Adele cross the road?
A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"