DOG IS SMILING

Dog is smiling

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New jokes

Tampons
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.

50 cent
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.

Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99

Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.

Bug in soup
A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."

Stupid momma
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.