Dog plays on the piano
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman. Boy: Why do you look so fat? Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me. Boy: Is it a good baby? Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby. Boy: Then why did you eat it?!
Ghosts as cheerleaders
Q: Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders? A: Because they have a lot of spirit!
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."