Men play the basketball
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Boss and employee
Boss: Do you believe in life after death? Employee: No, because there is no proof of it. Boss: Well there is now ! Employee: How? Boss: When you left yesterday saying that you have to go to your uncle's funeral, your uncle came here looking for you after you left
How were people born
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.