Santa claus with bag full of presents
#jump #jumping #funny #christmas #santa claus #cartoon #winter #gift #red #talking #sports #feature #winter #things #color #activities
Snowman snowwoman
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Adele
Q: Why did Adele cross the road?
A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
Google
Q: Is Google male or female?
A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
Tiger Woods vs Santa
Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A: Santa stops after three hos.
Tampons
"Mom, where do tampons go?"
"Where the babies come from, darling."
"In the stork?"
MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.
Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99