CATS WITH GLASSES

Cats with glasses are sunbathing

#cat #cats #animal #white #lie #lying #glasses #animals #color #activities #things

New jokes

Harry Potter
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.

Google
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.

Santas sack
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.

Microwave oven
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.

MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.

Adele
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"

Kids conversation
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin." Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ." Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."