CAT IS SLEEPING

Cat is sleeping

#cat #cute #cats #animal #cute cat #funny #funny cat #sleep #sleeping #massage #massages #tired #exhausted #scratch #relax #animals #feature #activities #emotion

New jokes

Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.

Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Mexican sport
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.

Tampons
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"

Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.

Get married
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they began to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked him. St. Peter said, "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,'" and he left. The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple were still waiting. While waiting, they began to wonder what would happen if it didn't work out; could you get a divorce in heaven? After yet another month, St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informed the couple, "You can get married in Heaven." "Great!" said the couple, "But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?" St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground. "What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple. "OH, COME ON!," St. Peter shouted, "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer?"

Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.

Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.