SLEEPING CAT

Sleeping cat

#cat #cute #cats #animal #cute cat #funny #funny cat #sleep #sleeping #massage #massages #tired #exhausted #black #relax #animals #feature #activities #emotion #color

New jokes

Chinese girl
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Cats exercise
Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Six." Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven!" Teacher: "Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!" Johnny: "Because I've already got a freaking cat!"

Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.

Beans
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."

Adele
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"

Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.

Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.