CAT IS SLEEPING

281.gif

Cat is sleeping

#cat #cute #cats #animal #sleep #sleeping #lie #lying #massage #massages #scratch #black #animals #feature #activities #color

New jokes

Cheap hotels
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.

LIGHTS OFF
I'm so in love with my boyfriend right now. Everything is perfect, but we want totally different things in bed. Like, he's always turning the lights on, you know what I'm saying? And I shut them off, and he turns them on, and the other day, he's like, 'Amy, why are you so shy? You know, you have a beautiful body.' I was like, 'Oh my god, you're so cute. You think I don't want you to see me?'

Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.

Stupid momma
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.

MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.

Witches
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.

Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.

Ghosts as cheerleaders
Q: Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders? A: Because they have a lot of spirit!