CAT RELAX

Cat relaxing

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New jokes

Where do babies come from
A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”

Google
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Christmas gift
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."

Teacher and students
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"

Mummy´s music
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!

Tampons
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"

Skeleton order
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!