CAT IS EATING FROM HAND

Cat is eating from hand

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New jokes

How were people born
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.

Momma
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"

Tiger Woods vs Santa
Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A: Santa stops after three hos.

Months
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.

Truck driver
A man was driving and saw a truck stalled on the side of the highway that had ten penguins standing next to it. The man pulled over and asked the truck driver if he needed any help. The truck driver replied, "If you can take these penguins to the zoo while I wait for AAA that will be great!" The man agreed and the penguins hopped into the back of his car. Two hours later, the trucker was back on the road again and decided to check on the penguins. He showed up at the zoo and they weren't there! He headed back into his truck and started driving around the town, looking for any sign of the penguins, the man, or his car. While driving past a movie theater, the truck driver spotted the guy walking out with the ten penguins. The truck driver yelled, "What are you doing? You were supposed to take them to the zoo!" The man replied, "I did and then I had some extra money so I took them to go see a movie."

Christmas
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

Mummy´s music
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!