Cats with desperated claun
#cat #cats #animal #weird #waggle #funny #funny cat #crazy #animals #feature #activities
Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?
A: Envelope.
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.
Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
Naughty girls
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Pregnant woman
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman.
Boy: Why do you look so fat?
Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me.
Boy: Is it a good baby?
Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby.
Boy: Then why did you eat it?!
Boss and employee
Boss: Do you believe in life after death?
Employee: No, because there is no proof of it.
Boss: Well there is now !
Employee: How?
Boss: When you left yesterday saying that you have to go to your uncle's funeral, your uncle came here looking for you after you left
A BLONDE & HER THERMOS
A blonde notices that her coworker has a thermos, so she asks him what it's for. He responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The blonde immediately buys one for herself. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it.
Her coworker asks, "What do you have in it?"
She replies, "Soup and ice cream."