NEMO IS SWIMMING

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Nemo is swimming

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New jokes

Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.

Harry Potter
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.

Adele
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"

Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.

Christmas gift
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."

Guys on the roof
On the roof of a very tall building are four men; one is asian, one is mexican, one is black, and the last one is white. The asian walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and jumps off the roof. Next, the mexican walks to the ledge and also says, "This is for all my people" and then he jumps off the roof. Next is the black guy's turn. The black guy walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and then throws the white guy off the roof.

LIGHTS OFF
I'm so in love with my boyfriend right now. Everything is perfect, but we want totally different things in bed. Like, he's always turning the lights on, you know what I'm saying? And I shut them off, and he turns them on, and the other day, he's like, 'Amy, why are you so shy? You know, you have a beautiful body.' I was like, 'Oh my god, you're so cute. You think I don't want you to see me?'

Google
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.