TURTLE NEMO

Turtle nemo

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New jokes

50 cent
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.

Christmas gift
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."

Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.

Kangaroo
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.

Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.

Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.

Lost in desert
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.