Cat hiding in couch
#cat #cats #animal #white #play #playing #hide #blue #animals #color #activities
Santas sack
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.
Private investigator
A guy believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator. The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man. This was the Chinese PI's report about what he found: "Most honorable, sir. You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall out tree. I not see. No fee. Cheng Lee."
Hamburgers
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
Kangaroo
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
Microwave oven
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.
Tiger Woods vs Santa
Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A: Santa stops after three hos.
Tears in eyes
My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him.
At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison