CUTE MONSTER
Cute monster
#cute #sweet #kid #child #funny #girl #cartoon #monsters #feature #people #things #celebrities
New jokes
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.
Stupid momma
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
Momma
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
Witches
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.
Boss and employee
Boss: Do you believe in life after death?
Employee: No, because there is no proof of it.
Boss: Well there is now !
Employee: How?
Boss: When you left yesterday saying that you have to go to your uncle's funeral, your uncle came here looking for you after you left
Private investigator
A guy believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator. The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man. This was the Chinese PI's report about what he found: "Most honorable, sir. You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall out tree. I not see. No fee. Cheng Lee."
Cats exercise
Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven."
Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven."
Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Six."
Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven!"
Teacher: "Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!"
Johnny: "Because I've already got a freaking cat!"
Hamburgers
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!