SHOCKED MONSTERS

Shocked monsters

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New jokes

Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Momma
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"

Witches
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.

Kids conversation
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin." Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ." Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."

Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.

Harry Potter
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.

A BLONDE & HER THERMOS
A blonde notices that her coworker has a thermos, so she asks him what it's for. He responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The blonde immediately buys one for herself. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it. Her coworker asks, "What do you have in it?" She replies, "Soup and ice cream."

Kangaroo
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.