CONCENTRATED MONSTER

Concentrated monster

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New jokes

Google
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99

Cats exercise
Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Six." Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven!" Teacher: "Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!" Johnny: "Because I've already got a freaking cat!"

Momma
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"

Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.

Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.

Tears in eyes
My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him. At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison