Happy sid
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Mummy´s music
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.
Christmas
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.
Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Santas sack
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
Beans
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.