Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.