SQUIRREL AND NUT

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Squirrel and nut

#animal #funny #snow #cartoon #winter #excited #squirrel #cold #ice #concentrated #ice age #animals #feature #winter #things #emotion #celebrities

New jokes

LIGHTS OFF
I'm so in love with my boyfriend right now. Everything is perfect, but we want totally different things in bed. Like, he's always turning the lights on, you know what I'm saying? And I shut them off, and he turns them on, and the other day, he's like, 'Amy, why are you so shy? You know, you have a beautiful body.' I was like, 'Oh my god, you're so cute. You think I don't want you to see me?'

Athletes
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!

Momma
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"

Private investigator
A guy believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator. The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man. This was the Chinese PI's report about what he found: "Most honorable, sir. You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall out tree. I not see. No fee. Cheng Lee."

Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.

Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” Man: “And that frees me from my sin?” Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.

Mummy´s music
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!

Kangaroo
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.