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How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
Cath the train
A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.” The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one."
How were people born
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.