Flying tom hanks
Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.
Mr. and Mrs. Brown
Mr. and Mrs. Brown had two sons. One was named Mind Your Own Business & the other was named Trouble. One day the two boys decided to play hide and seek. Trouble hid while Mind Your Own Business counted to one hundred. Mind Your Own Business began looking for his brother behind garbage cans and bushes. Then he started looking in and under cars until a police man approached him and asked, "What are you doing?" "Playing a game," the boy replied. "What is your name?" the officer questioned. "Mind Your Own Business." Furious the policeman inquired, "Are you looking for trouble?!" The boy replied, "Why, yes."
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.