AT THE DINERS CLUB

At the diners club

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New jokes

Athletes
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!

Snowman snowwoman
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.

Momma
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"

Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.

Pregnant woman
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman. Boy: Why do you look so fat? Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me. Boy: Is it a good baby? Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby. Boy: Then why did you eat it?!

Adele
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"

Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.

Where do babies come from
A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”