Sales in grocery store
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Momma
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
Private investigator
A guy believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator. The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man. This was the Chinese PI's report about what he found: "Most honorable, sir. You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall out tree. I not see. No fee. Cheng Lee."
Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Mexican sport
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.
Santas sack
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
Trick-or-treating
A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."
Months
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.
Witches
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.