HOMER DRIVING THE CAR

Homer driving the car

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New jokes

Momma
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"

Beans
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."

Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.

Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.

Chinese girl
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

Cheap hotels
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.

Guys on the roof
On the roof of a very tall building are four men; one is asian, one is mexican, one is black, and the last one is white. The asian walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and jumps off the roof. Next, the mexican walks to the ledge and also says, "This is for all my people" and then he jumps off the roof. Next is the black guy's turn. The black guy walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and then throws the white guy off the roof.

Naughty girls
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.