SLEEPING HOMER IN CHURCH

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Sleeping homer in church

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Turkey
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!

School
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?" Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!" Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?" Patrick: "What school?"

Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.

Adele
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"

Lost in desert
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Naughty girls
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

Witches
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.