Drinking coffee
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Witches
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.
DonĀ“t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.
School
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?"
Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!"
Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"
Patrick: "What school?"
Cheap hotels
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.
Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?
A: Envelope.
Snowman snowwoman
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
Beans
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."