Homer weird eyes
Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?" Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!" Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?" Patrick: "What school?"
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.
A BLONDE & HER THERMOS
A blonde notices that her coworker has a thermos, so she asks him what it's for. He responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The blonde immediately buys one for herself. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it. Her coworker asks, "What do you have in it?" She replies, "Soup and ice cream."
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
Tiger Woods vs Santa
Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A: Santa stops after three hos.