CAT UNDER WATER

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Cat under water

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New jokes

Christmas
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

Mexican sport
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.

Athletes
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!

Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.

Momma
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"

Where do babies come from
A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”

Ghosts as cheerleaders
Q: Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders? A: Because they have a lot of spirit!

Snowman snowwoman
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.