HUNGRY BELLY

Hungry belly

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New jokes

MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.

Kangaroo
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.

How were people born
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

Hamburgers
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!

Momma
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"

Stupid momma
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.

Kids conversation
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin." Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ." Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."