Hungry of money
#money #funny #eat #eating #hungry #cartoon #simpsons #yellow #things #feature #food #celebrities #color
Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.”
The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.”
Man: “And that frees me from my sin?”
Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.
Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.
Cats exercise
Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven."
Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven."
Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Six."
Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven!"
Teacher: "Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!"
Johnny: "Because I've already got a freaking cat!"
Harry Potter
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.
Months
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.
Snowman snowwoman
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
Adele
Q: Why did Adele cross the road?
A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
Kangaroo
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.