Cat stands up and dance
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Bug in soup
A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
Tiger Woods vs Santa
Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A: Santa stops after three hos.
Teacher and students
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"