MAXIMUS FROM TANGLED

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Maximus from tangled

#animal #funny #shocked #crazy #frightened #running #cartoon #horse #animals #feature #emotion #sports #things

New jokes

Athletes
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!

Where do babies come from
A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”

Harry Potter
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.

Tears in eyes
My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him. At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison

Microwave oven
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.

Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99

Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.