SEAL IN THE SNOW

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Seal in the snow

#animal #white #lie #lying #snow #winter #seal #relax #cold #ice #animals #color #activities #winter #emotion

New jokes

Momma
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"

Where do babies come from
A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”

Cheap hotels
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.

Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.

A BLONDE & HER THERMOS
A blonde notices that her coworker has a thermos, so she asks him what it's for. He responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The blonde immediately buys one for herself. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it. Her coworker asks, "What do you have in it?" She replies, "Soup and ice cream."

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

Santas sack
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.

Trick-or-treating
A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."