Seal and pigeon
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
Tiger Woods vs Santa
Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A: Santa stops after three hos.
A BLONDE & HER THERMOS
A blonde notices that her coworker has a thermos, so she asks him what it's for. He responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The blonde immediately buys one for herself. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it. Her coworker asks, "What do you have in it?" She replies, "Soup and ice cream."
Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.