Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Ghosts as cheerleaders
Q: Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders? A: Because they have a lot of spirit!