Snowboarder jumps
#jump #jumping #snow #man #sport #sports #winter #snowboard #hill #mountain #cold #ice #sports #winter #people #nature
Cath the train
A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”
The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one."
Tampons
"Mom, where do tampons go?"
"Where the babies come from, darling."
"In the stork?"
Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.
Trick-or-treating
A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."
Chinese girl
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Snowman snowwoman
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."