Teacher and students
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."