Offended jerry
#animal #funny #walk #walking #hide #tom and jerry #mouse #blue #offended #animals #feature #sports #activities #celebrities #color #emotion
Hamburgers
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?
A: Envelope.
Tiger Woods vs Santa
Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A: Santa stops after three hos.
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.
Teacher and students
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
Momma
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
Private investigator
A guy believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator. The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man. This was the Chinese PI's report about what he found: "Most honorable, sir. You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall out tree. I not see. No fee. Cheng Lee."
Skeleton
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.