Love between man and lion
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
Bug in soup
A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."