Santa digging hole in snow
#christmas #work #working #snow #santa claus #winter #christmas tree #winter #activities
Cats exercise
Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven."
Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven."
Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Six."
Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven!"
Teacher: "Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!"
Johnny: "Because I've already got a freaking cat!"
Kangaroo
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Google
Q: Is Google male or female?
A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
Pregnant woman
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman.
Boy: Why do you look so fat?
Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me.
Boy: Is it a good baby?
Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby.
Boy: Then why did you eat it?!
Hamburgers
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
Christmas
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
Skeleton
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.