Cool man with balls
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
A BLONDE & HER THERMOS
A blonde notices that her coworker has a thermos, so she asks him what it's for. He responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The blonde immediately buys one for herself. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it. Her coworker asks, "What do you have in it?" She replies, "Soup and ice cream."
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
I'm so in love with my boyfriend right now. Everything is perfect, but we want totally different things in bed. Like, he's always turning the lights on, you know what I'm saying? And I shut them off, and he turns them on, and the other day, he's like, 'Amy, why are you so shy? You know, you have a beautiful body.' I was like, 'Oh my god, you're so cute. You think I don't want you to see me?'