SATISFIED MAN DRINKING WINE

Satisfied man drinking wine

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New jokes

School
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?" Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!" Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?" Patrick: "What school?"

Hamburgers
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!

Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Tiger Woods vs Santa
Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A: Santa stops after three hos.

50 cent
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.

How were people born
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

Mexican sport
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.

Stupid momma
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.