Seals are kissing
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?" Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!" Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?" Patrick: "What school?"
Bug in soup
A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman. Boy: Why do you look so fat? Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me. Boy: Is it a good baby? Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby. Boy: Then why did you eat it?!
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"