Crazy seal
#animal #funny #shocked #shake #shaking #crazy #seal #disabled #animals #feature #emotion #activities
Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Cheap hotels
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.
Adele
Q: Why did Adele cross the road?
A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
Reporter vs man
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
Kangaroo
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
Months
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.
Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.