SEAL IS SLEEPING ON SUN

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Seal is sleeping on sun

#cute #animal #sleep #sleeping #lie #lying #tired #exhausted #satisfied #cartoon #seal #happy #fat #green #relax #sunbath #feature #animals #activities #emotion #things #color

New jokes

Tears in eyes
My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him. At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison

Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.

Mr. and Mrs. Brown
Mr. and Mrs. Brown had two sons. One was named Mind Your Own Business & the other was named Trouble. One day the two boys decided to play hide and seek. Trouble hid while Mind Your Own Business counted to one hundred. Mind Your Own Business began looking for his brother behind garbage cans and bushes. Then he started looking in and under cars until a police man approached him and asked, "What are you doing?" "Playing a game," the boy replied. "What is your name?" the officer questioned. "Mind Your Own Business." Furious the policeman inquired, "Are you looking for trouble?!" The boy replied, "Why, yes."

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

Santas sack
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.

50 cent
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.

Hamburgers
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!

Birthday
Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.