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New jokes

Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.

Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.

Witches
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.

Tiger Woods vs Santa
Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A: Santa stops after three hos.

Tampons
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"

Hamburgers
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!

Stupid momma
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.

Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.